College Football Kick Off

So we are one week into the college football season and we don’t know a whole hell of a lot more than we did a week ago.

A few things we do know are:

Oklahoma can probably kiss a National Championship goodbye. An upset of Texas in the Red River Shootout is probably the only chance that they have.

FLORIDA IS THE GREATEST FOOTBALL TEAM EVER. Or so ESPN would have me believe. I will reserve judgement.

That noise you hear in the distance is the Notre Dame hype machine getting warmed up. That other noise you heard was me puking.

The Big Ten sucks. But don’t sleep on Penn State going undefeated. And I really, really hate Tyrell Prior.

Syracuse still sucks. Sorry Greggy.

And as a new season kicks off, lets for a minute revisit how it was I felt about the BCS, BS back in January.

So any of you who know me know that I think that the current system for deciding a national champion in college football is a complete joke. Everything about it is a joke, and every excuse that is bandied about in defense of it is a joke. The B.C.S is a result of greedy universities, greedy conferences, and lazy alumni. Period. It is about money and laziness.

Any argument that is presented to defend what we currently are force fed is a paper tiger that is easily debunked. Period.

I find myself becoming very depressed this time of year, every year. Now scientists have proven that January is the most depressing month of the year, and specifically January 22nd is the most depressing day of the year in America.(I didn’t make that up). So my depression could be a combination of that fact, coupled with a fairly severe case of seasonal depression, which is then mixed in with the realization that I just wasted five months of my life spending every Saturday glued to the TV from 11am to 12am.

The problem is, by next September I will have forgotten how awful I feel right now.

Don’t get me wrong, last nights Ohio State-Texas game was fun to watch, as was Utah over Alabama, hell I even enjoyed the Rose Bowl where my lions were beaten pretty soundly it was still fun to watch. The problem is, there is no satisfying finish.

The commercials that have been running on Fox, ad nauseum would have you believe that Thursday’s match up of Oklahoma and Florida was a clear-cut case of 1 v. 2 and that the outcome would settle the matter once and for all. Their ads portray this game as if it were written in the 12th book of the Bible that on January 8th 2009 Florida, national powerhouse, led by Heisman trophy winner Tim Tebow would march into this game opposed by Oklahoma, the best team in the country, led by current Heisman winner Sam Bradford. The outcome of this match up of titans would leave no doubt in any one’s mind who the best team in the country is. Or so we are to believe.

What this takes is an inhuman ability to suspend disbelief. And hobbits once roamed the world dropping jewelry into volcanoes and a magic lion saved four siblings from an ice queen.

What all this hype, and the ESPN bullshit machine are not telling you is this, Texas beat Oklahoma by 20 points on a neutral field.

Florida lost to Ole Miss at home.

Thursday nights game has been spun since the teams were announced, and will continue being spun well into the weekend as the National Championship game. ESPN, Fox, and every dickhead with a microphone in between will try to convince the moronic masses that this game has decided something.

To me, all it has decided is that this system is broken, and I am god damned depressed about it.

Texas beat Oklahoma by 20 points. Texas beat Ohio State, Ohio State lost to Penn State, at home, Penn State lost soundly to USC, USC lost to Oregon State, Oregon State got blasted by Penn State, Utah went undefeated and beat the snot out of Alabama who was the Number One team in the country for a large portion of the season, Florida beat Alabama, Florida lost to Ole Miss, Ole Miss beat Texas Tech, Texas Tech beat Texas on the last play of the game, Oklahoma beat Texas Tech, and TEXAS BEAT OKLAHOMA BY 20 POINTS ON A NEUTRAL FIELD.

Did you follow all of that, cause I did that off the top of my head and am proud of it (as sad as it is that I know all of that, and have to think about what Avi’s birthday is).

Point being, this system sucks. You want to keep your Bowls because they are nostalgic, keep them.

Let the four major bowls be the first round of an 8 team playoff.

Oklahoma-Texas Tech


Texas-Penn State


These games are played on New Years Eve and New Years day.

Round 2 is played this week, call the games whatever you want.

Then you get Oklahoma-USC, and Florida-Texas

Utah gets a legit shot at a championship, something that would never happen under our current system. Keep the smaller bowls, they are irrelavant now anyways, all the teams that don’t make the final 8 play in their games and get their money.

I hate that I feel this crappy about something that I love so much.


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