I Don’t Understand

I don’t understand

I don’t understand a culture where hatred, mistrust and violence are worn like badges of honor.

I don’t understand a world where being successful in anything other than basketball, rap and drugs is somehow looked down upon.

I don’t understand how a child could talk to me like that, because of how I looked at him, when I only looked at him like that because of the words he was choosing to use.

I don’t understand what we choose to value.

I don’t understand how I teach about names and dates that are so far in the past that they almost don’t exist.

I don’t understand how I teach about yesterday, or tomorrow, to someone who can’t see beyond their block.

I don’t understand how I can make a difference in a life that has seemingly gone so wrong, so fast.

I don’t understand how I can get them to see, when all they see is me.

I don’t understand how to change a world that even I don’t understand.

I don’t understand how we have gotten to where we are.

I don’t understand how where we are is considered acceptable.

I don’t understand how I fit into all of this.

I don’t understand the world in which I have chosen to bring a child.

I don’t understand what to say to her when she says…Daddy…

I don’t understand.

The Mets Suck, The Mets are Good, The Mets Suck…

I have read back through what I have written about the Mets this year and it clear that this is the team that we have.

They are going to be a roller coaster all year. 10 games they will look like they are destined for the World Series. 10 games they are going to look like the worst team in the league.

The problems are centered entirely around pitching. Right now we have Johan Santana, Mike Pelfrey and we are praying for rain 3 out of every 5 days. David Wright said as much last night.

It makes for some really exciting games, 2 out of 5 games. Johan and Pelf have been as advertised. Pelf has every chance to make the All-Star Game (although I am not sure he is more deserving than Santana).

If we are able to land another big name starting pitcher (did I read that Dan Haren could be available?), we can be a real force in the league. If things stay as is, with our bullpen and rotation loaded with question marks, the year is going to be what it is, a roller coaster. As such, my posts will probably be just as up and down.

Busy, Busy June

Back from Lake George. Absolute awesome vacation. Camping with Aviendha is awesome. No doubt about it. The only problem was that we are waist deep in potty training, and anytime Av asks to go, we go. I want her to become used to the idea that if she needs to go, she has to tell one of us. That means that if we are 20 minutes past the last rest stop that she peed at, we stop again when she asks.

This added a ton of time to our trip, but in the long run will end up being well worth it. She was amazing on the trip. She took three-hour naps each day, and slept 12 hours every night. It added zero stress to the trip to have her there. Which was awesome.

It was an interesting experience for me in particular. Last year I took the same trip up there, with the same people. Biggest difference being that I did not bring along my two-year-old at the time. I partied hardy with my college friends. We stayed a few sites over this year from where I stayed last year. Laying in bed next to Danielle with Avi in the tent with us, we were separated by a hundred feet, a road, and what seemed like a lifetimes worth of change. At four am, as I was shouting out of the tent for Johny Fesco to “Shut the Eff Up”, I realized that was me just a year ago, drinking until 4 only to wake up at 10 and start all over again. It was a very surreal experience.

Lake George weekend kicks off what is going to be an extremely busy month for us.

Saturday is a big day in our lives. It represents one year from the day/night we met. I think I will have more to write about this later, consider this a teaser. Let me simply say this for now… I never imagined when I woke up on June 5th, 2009 that I would be meeting the woman who I would spend the rest of my life with later that night.

“I just want the girl in the girl in the blue dress, to keep on dancing…”

Wednesday is Dave Matthews Band at Darien Lake, which weather allowing is going to be an absolutely awesome time.