Aviendha Shea went to kindergarten last Wednesday. The day came and went and I didn’t have a lot of time to think about it. Part of the problem was that her first day of kindergarten was also my first day at a new school. I am working at a middle school and have had to leave before she is up in the morning.
With all of this happening, I never really took a minute to collect my thoughts.
Avi going to kindergarten isn’t the end of my world. I am proud of her, I am excited for her, and I wish time would slow down. I took some time today and scrolled back through the archives to this site. It is really interesting to see where my mind has been in the last four years. I still feel the same way about some things, I have changed my mind about some things, but all in all, I am still the same person I was when I wrote the things I have written.
One piece caught my attention in particular. I wrote this in January of 2009:
So much has happened, it seems like so fast in my life. My baby is a kid now. Which is something I think I have taken in stride. I try to not get too upset about her growing up. My thought process has always been that if I spend all my time sad that she is getting big, I will never stop to enjoy the Getting Big part.
I made a conscious choice, at four months, exhausted, (read the myspace blogs if you don’t believe me) that I would enjoy this, tired, stressed, I would enjoy it. I have a year and a half (she is a year and a half tomorrow. July 23rd, 2007. 7:44 am, it was a Monday, she had tiny hands and my uncle Greg’s face, she slept through the first night, she smiled the day she was born, she fit in my hand and the gravity she pulled down on me crushed everything I thought mattered. She stormed into my life-like a tornado with a nine-month warning, I am rambling I know. She weighed 6 pounds 7 ounces and my hands were made to hold her, my elbows bent just so, right dad? 18 months in a heart beat. She talks now. She laughs now.) of amazing memories.
My life is in Three Dimensions. I turn around and it is there. I turn around and it is there. I turn around and it is there.
The little boy, who still feels like a little boy took lessons from Atlas and threw it all up on is not-so-broad shoulders. I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes (too often) heart racing over nothing. Three Dimensions.
Now that she is five and I can talk to her about what she was like when she was little, I tell her about how she fit in my hands, how my arms were bent just so, how she looked my uncle Greg and smiled the day she was born.
The sun rose twice on the day she was born. She is the sun in my world, and it is brighter for her presence.
This is what I posted on Facebook the night before she boarded that bus for the first time:
Aviendha Shea Gilmore will be getting on the bus and heading off to Kindergarten tomorrow. I could sit here and wax poetically about where the time that has gone, how she has grown up to fast, how I cannot believe that a little over five short years ago I laid eyes on her beautiful face for the first time. Instead of tears of sorrow for the time that has passed, I will be shedding tears of joy forher as she takes the next triumphant step in her amazing life. I could not be more proud of this young woman or the people in her life that have helped shape her into who she is today. As she steps into the next phase of her life tomorrow morning it will be with the love and support of the most amazing group of people any kid has ever had the privilege of being surrounded by. I love you my daughter. You make the world a brighter place and we are all blessed to have your light shine on us.