Just Breathe

I imagine, when listening to this song, sitting next to a hospital bed and saying goodbye. Luckily for us, we have many wonderful years left with Deb and Mo.

That being said, I think saying goodbye some day might be easier than what we are going through as Alzheimer’s, that brutal thief of cherished memories does its awful work on May’s brain. There was moment a few weeks ago, where for the first time, she looked at me and I saw no recognition in her eyes. She didn’t remember who I am. I have 29 years of memories of the woman. Tube tops and pedal pushers. And she does not remember me.

We laugh when she congratulates Danielle and I on our engagement again and again. We laugh because tears hurt too much.

We are a family of stories. Our stories represent memories. Memories of our shared experiences. Without those stories, without those memories, what was our past but just a series of yesterdays.

I will forever hold in my heart “Raincloud Roethel.”

As she announced that year at Camp-O-Rama, she made all of this. She may not remember it, but she did.

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